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Leo:

How is it that a man who has access to countless hot women wakes on the morning of his kid’s playdate like it’s fucking Christmas? And with a jolly ripe boner at the thought of his son’s teacher. Yeah, this guy here. I’m not ashamed of it but is it appropriate to ask this woman out while we are essentially chaperoning our daughters? See, I haven’t always been a manwhore. With Dez, I was the most committed father and husband—I only had eyes for her. And maybe these new feelings make it obvious I’m ready to start over again.

With the first glance at my phone, I’m accosted with a shit-ton of texts from Donna. She invited me over last night but I’d told her I was taking my kids to the movies. This crazy, bleached-blonde tried to invite herself with us to see Venom. She had no idea it was a Marvel movie, in addition to being oblivious to the fact that I’d never let her get within arm’s reach of my kids. A good fuck she’s been but that’s all she ever could be. And now, after imagining the teacher as a person I want more than sex with, I’m on the offensive with today’s playdate. But don’t fucking get me wrong—I sure as fuck want to fill her up—but I want more than that. I can’t fucking believe that I, Leo Eastman, am admitting to this.

Shit, shit, shit. But it’s true.